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Gordonhoj
Angemeldet seit:
02.01.2023
Beiträge: 30
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I have posted here before, but I'm not a frequent poster. I read a lot of the posts though, and I have gotten some very helpful information and suggestions from people here.
So, the quick background story is that my sweet, wonderful husband/best friend of 20 years passed away in Oct of 2021. Before he died, his family was our entire social circle (dinners, ball games, etc). They treated me like family, and I always felt that I was loved by them. When Paul was in Hospice, they were there every day. But as soon as he was gone, so were they. No calls, no texts, no Christmas cards. None of them (he had 6 brothers and a sister, several nieces and nephews) have been to see me. Even his daughter, who I raised, only comes over on Christmas, and doesn't keep in touch at all during the year.
A few weeks ago I got a "Save the Date" email, letting me know that one of the nephews is getting married. As soon as I saw it, I knew I could not go. I cannot imagine being around all of his relatives, celebrating something he would have loved to attend, by myself. I keep thinking that if they had continued to keep in touch, I might feel differently. But there are some other things to consider:
-The wedding is 2 hours away, with the ceremony in the afternoon, then the reception in the evening. I don't like to drive on the highway, and can't see to drive at night.
-The bride specified what style and color of dress to wear. I don't own anything like it, or the shoes to go with it, and I'm BARELY making it on Social Security.
-My anxiety has ramped up ever since I got the invitation. One of the grief counselors at the group I attend reminded me that I don't have to do anything just because I think other people would want me to. I have to do what's comfortable for me.
So...as you can see, I've decided not to go. And I'm not looking for the other side of the debate. What I want to know is this: Would you send them a card, letting them know this, or just reply "will not be attending" to the email. And, what would you say in the card without sounding like, "me me me"?
Sorry this got so wordy. It's just causing me so much stress.
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AlexLake
Angemeldet seit:
07.06.2023
Beiträge: 32
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I'm really sorry for your loss. It sounds like you're grappling with a lot, and your feelings are completely valid. When my aunt faced a similar situation after my uncle passed, she found writing a heartfelt card helped her express her thoughts without making it about herself. She focused on wishing the couple happiness and explaining her circumstances briefly. As for your attire concerns, places like *****have elegant options that might inspire a simple note of regret. Take care of yourself during this tough time.
Zuletzt bearbeitet am: 18.07.2024 11:19 Uhr.
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